...........anxiety of adult hood filled my mind, memories of my childhood flooded my dreams, && passion for my future surrounded my spirit... that's what turning 20 felt like. It's scary to think about, ME, growing up...on my own.(independence) ahhh.... pinch me please!
Seems like yesterday, I was so into Barney & PowerRangers, now I'm into nothing but School & Work; Life of a college student. Things change so much & people never really notice until they really sit & take a walk down memory lane.
Well, my mother & I had a long talk the thursday before my birthday & both just shared our hearts to each other. I told her the things God had been birthing into my spirit && how afraid I was at the things I felt were fixing to make a great impact in this coming transition in my life. While sharing my heart, I mentioned 5 things that had really hit home with me....
1) relationship: following the will not the want.
2) salvation: expanding the Kingdom
3) pursuit: chasing Him
4) trust: Letting Go & Letting IT
5) desire: hunger in my eyes, Beauty in His
I could spend like a good week & write about each of these but that would probably bore you so I'm going to spare you that much. The biggest issue for me was #4, trust. I can not entirely express the reasons for that but let's just say that all areas in my life that involved relationship, whether that be church, family, friends, school, dating ect. ... I had been hurt terribly with the whole trust factor. Though many issued occurred within the past, I had not fully handed those over to God. SO, this weekend I decided that as I turned 20, I was going to focus on those areas in my life 1-5. && one of the last statements I told my mom was, " I don't want to worry about how, when, or where I die, I just want so bad to be an influence in people's life so that I leave this earth with GOd statisfied at His work thru me. I want to hear Him say, "Well done my child!"
If I've learned ONE thing since my now 20 years on this earth, it has been to Pursue Christ whole heartedly. I stand amazed at the WONDERfulAMAZinSUPERhugeBEAUTIful things He has Created within & for us!! It's an awesome feeling to know that NO matter how hurt I am by the things of this world that He will ALWAYS wrap His arms around me in His love!
So I've learned to LOVE & BE love! That's one of my many new motto's for my new 20 year old life =] To LOVE & Be Love... That it is the answer! Please, Love from the center of who you are. You can never go wrong if you do that.... God should not be put in a priority list. He should just be in the center of EVERYTHING you do! He doesn't wanna be first, He wants to be In it ALL! He just wants you to Love Him & adore Him & His creation. Just like any other relationship... He wants your intimate time. He would love for u to allow Him to eat breakfast with you or jam out to some music on your way to work. Even the little things, like smiling at Him to let Him know ur still madly in love with Him or take a big hold of His hand. He'd love it! He is not asking you to sacrafice big things or do hard things to make Him happy... He simply just wants You to Love on Him & his people!
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